Grendel

This weekend i began Grendel, by John Gardner, a novel in which Beowulf is told from the point of view of the monster Grendel.  Gardner is a very eccentric man who is rather morbid since the accidental death of his younger brother in his childhood.  You can see much of this influence in many of Gardner's works including Grendel, which has a very dark tone and plot as it is following the life and struggles of a hideous monster, as well as a very gloomy and depressed character; Grendel himself.

As Gardner has this huge weight on his back, since it was he who dealt the death blow to his brother when they were only kids, it seems only right that he would have thoughts of suicide and self-pity.  This is portrayed into the character Grendel when he calls himself, "Pointless, ridiculous monster."(2) and when he is yelling at the black chasms to swallow him up.  He yells, "seize me.  Seize me into your foul black bowls and crush my bones"(5).  This is one of the most obviously suicidal things he could have said.  He is yelling at the chasm to crush his bones and kill him because he is so miserable with his life and what the world has done to him which is literally nothing. 

The entire universe seems to be indifferent to Grendel.  It doesn't matter how much he shakes his fists at it, flips it off, or even just bellows at, it in never seems to give him the respect he thinks he deserves.  At the beginning of the novel he is yelling at a stupid ram to get away from him and cursing its very existence but it just looks at him and goes on standing there.  This pisses him off so much that he unleashes a scream that turns the water he is standing in to ice and even scares himself a little but the ram still does nothing.  It is like he can belong to nothing, he is completely isolated.  Man refuses to allow him into their culture obviously and even nature, where he lives and the animals cant even think, wont accept him.  This just emphasizes the deep feeling of isolation that Ggrendel feels and shows us how he can have all of these suicidal thoughts.